does she see the way i look at her? when she turns away... i can't help but wonder what she's thinking about, but i know what i'm thinking... i'm thinking how can i be so lucky, how can i have found someone that i care for, and she cares back... i love the feeling of just being around her, no words have to be said. what i say i will because i mean it, i don't want to lie... she makes me so happy. i'm content in the quiet, i know i'm not alone, i know there is a possibility, that i will never be that way again... i hope i'm not. She loves me now, and i hope she always will. but one other thing i know is, that i don't want to hurt her, but i know that i could, so easily, just push to far and there's no turning back, what's done is done... i don't want to do that, i don't want to be sorry for things not yet done, i don't want to hurt you with what i've become. part of this world has shown me it's hand and there's life without love and i don't understand, how people say that they love you and then walk away, they say they won't leave you, with nothing to say. well that's not my story, no more, accidents. i'll try not to leave you behind in the dust, if i myself am ahead of myself just tell me, i'll come brush off the dirt and grime......
oks, so i donno where that one was going, but now i want to just write totally random, that last one actually had some meaning. the next one just angst

tear into me oh darkness obscene you can't have seen all of me yet, you're as dark as my eyes and overcast skies the dust in the clouds at sunset. here i am a hole, so deep, the darkness spreads as people speak, the lies they spread swallow whole, with goal, deception and lies.
They lay on the street they say that you're dead they just want to know, they want in your head, they want you to feel the hate and dispair they want you to feel like you shouldn't care, if you're down and your dead and you stare at the skies, they all have a goal, deception and lies.
The stars they don't care, such a small speck of dirt, you're nothing and no one, and yet you still hurt. you think that you're actually important to things, but hearing the truth sometimes only stings. you're more important than dirt, than filth, and than flies. but these all have one goal, deception and lies.
To tell you that life is just here and just now, the truth is, is nothing, and that's all, just somehow. To make you think that this is the end when really it's just all we know for now. but there's more, i promise you, i promise the sky, that no more deception, but truth, when we die.


anyways, both of those just first time through, rough draft, i haven't even read them yet, feedback welcome. love you tiara if you're reading this.

morning or night, i donno, don't care

Hello dr. mike... HELLO EVERYBODY. it's me here, donno who you are there, but welcome.
as you all may or many may not know my girlfriend has gone to bolivia for a month, this leaves me alone... bite me. lol the last few days have been long and... well relativly fun i guess, there has been alot of rockband being played and i'm actually getting at least kind of good at it, which i suppose is ok except for the fact that i had once said anyone who's good at that game has no life... i seem to have lost my life this weekend... someone help me find it. YOU THERE, THE FAT ONE IN ONTARIO... HAVE YOU SEEN MY LIFE? anyways. sorry fat man, i didn't mean to poke fun... but i do wish i could poke your belly. so i'm not sure if it's morning or night and i donno what time it is in bolivia, but if you're reading this hun, i love you. email me. anyways about the time think, i think the time on this compuer is out by an hour but i don't know in what direction, so it's either morning or night, and i donno, it's pretty stupid and i know i said i didn't care but it's kinda driving me a bit weird, anyways i'm out hugz all yall scrall yall