ladies and gentlmen, actually not to sound vain but i know only women who read this thing.

anyways tonight went relatively well, work wise and otherwise, i got out of there when i'm normally supposed to, then i went to shores and we watched some ghost rider, we then went for our usual evening ride, and had some fun screwin around with other drivers on the road. lol blocking the road and other such nonsence, good times shore, anyways, just a quick note tonight, i'm to lazy to write anything much else.

another day, another peice of electronics has aids

good day ladies and gentlemen, actually i'm not sure how many people actually read this so just hello to whoever has enough time to do so, for those of you who don't know my writting style, i write to draw emotion from the reader, doesn't matter if i felt whats in the words or not, they aren't really from me most of the time, i'm just the vessel, i do not read what i write most of the time, i thank some of you for your concern but in all honesty not many tears were shed, sorry, here's a new one for the world to see i guess, i been workin on it a while, well rather i started writing it long ago and left it, i read it on my walk about (rather drive about) while sitting in my car i edmonton during a storm, this is how it ended up,

fueled by the pain you throw back on me my fire burns bright in the skies, you say that you love me, you say i'm the one, but you say you live life with lies,
what to beleive, who to decieve, held back by fire and desire, i let myself go to the end of my line, said things i regret, it's transpired, but i said it all, cause you made me fall the woman once i had desired.
birds fly with wings, so high above us all, but you'd clip their wings and cause them to fall, i soared once like them in cold, clearly bliss, but now it seems a tale to tall, i once beleived that i could soar where eagles glide and men adore but i have learned a little thing, about a girl who clips birds wings, higher and higher the heat it would send me, now i walk down by the flames, cut off my wings and pain is not all i receive, a life of wanting to fly up above, to look down on war and love and such petty squabbles, but all that forgotten my broken wings rotten i smell them and cry in despare.
You took my dreams, and now they're regrets i sit alone with my cigarettes i spin this tale about all these things, a stupid girl who clips birds wings. i thought you'd help me back to my nest but all i have now is pain and unrest, i cannot fly like my brothers no more, cause i know a girl... who's really a whore. a whore to the world, false pleasures it brings, a whore to a song, whichever she sings, a whore to the pain, she loves what she brings, you're just a whore, who clipped this birds wings.
So many times i've tried to ignore the pain that you gave me and i tried to sore but i fall from the trees to the filth at the floor because of you, stupid girl whore.


that's that one, it was about a previous relationship and how i felt about it, but i finished it after yet another break up, so it's actually just got raw pain but more poetic and visual than some of the other things i've written, and this one, like FEW others i actually put myself into, thought about it, used my feelings and not just ideas, there should be a new one coming out of me any day now, and not to worry to any of you who care, artists live on pain of one kind or another, longing is pain, loving is pain, hating is pain, acceptance is pain, life in general is pain but finding words to describe and ways to carry on is beauty, ladies and gentlemen writting is both my pain and my beauty, i don't write so i feel, i feel that i should write, this or that, doesn't matter, as long as it makes a difference to someone, i may not even know who, but if you've read this, i hope you've thought about something, anything, as long as you've felt, that's what my art is about, you, the reader, your feelings... enjoy

oops,

so i had meant to write in here last night, but i never really got around to it, last night seriously i was full of something that just needed to get out, and i don't even know what, we'll see if anything from that is left over.
scream and i scream these words, let me out to live, i don't want to be this way anymore let me live. i'm trapped inside with all these tears it's drowning me alive. i've been swimming for years fire lost in tears i'm not the flame i once was, you doused me in tears you've shrunk me with fears and now all i want is to be free. as soon as i'm out no more tears, i will shout, THIS IS THE MAN WHO IS ME, i'm not afraid of you anymore only the tears that i've shed, i don't want them back i don't want to end my life living in fear isn't me. i'm the man of the hour someone elses strong tower but apparently not anymore, as i scream from within all these tears all this sin make me feel that the world is a whore. so i'll escape from this whore make my own girl, no more will i dwell on the past loves i've lost. all the things i've been through i always was true to think that i'm something more. i'm afraid to love again, afraid to live again, the only thing left is my pain, so i'll crawl up the throat and claw and cut and stab and thrust till i'm out again, till i love again... it's pain.

well somehow i think that could be pretty close to what was coming out last night, seriously i was driving and yelling and screaming and hitting things just to feel something, nothing feels real anymore, i gave my heart away to freely, i never get the peice back, they've been abused and tossed aside and all that's left is tattered and torn, sigh..... i'm gonna go watch a movie,

by george it's friday, i think it's friday,

soooo as it would appear i've made the title of this blog into two different referances from rather famous peices of literature, it may not be perfect but hey, you win a prize if you can tell me which peices, a hint, turned out to have grown accustomed to her voice, and friday is a black day indeed. ANYBODY, anyways, i seem to be able to walk a little better today, although the hip is still killing me, tonight i get to let the manager close lol, i showed him how more or less last night, anyways so as it turns out there are supposed to be two rank concerts coming up in december in stoon, on the same day... different venues, and i REALLY wanna go to both, but i can't :( so what shall i do.... BLOW UP THE OCEAN, (a lil more obscure of a reference, this time to an online cartoon) k seriously, most of the people i work with are STUPID, no literature read at all, theres maybe three or four people that i actually like workin with, denton, you're niave... think that's how you spell it, but you get stuff done, you smile, you're good with customers, jesse, no more drinking at work and you'll be fine, anna, k you're cool and have other redeeming qualities, :P, new manager seems alright, although your name dana, honestly i think of a chick or some desert called a danish... or is that breakfast, meh either way, tis food. anyways i think i'm gonna go read some more, bye for now

nish?

so anyways, i had another day of work today, and it's raining/snowing/sunny out today, me and a co-worker decided to see who was faster in a sprint, i wasn't sure but he was bein cocky so we put money on it, midway through the race i lost my footing, i bit it pretty hard i have cuts onmy hand elbow and hip, along with a really nast bruise on my hip, and i lost the money to boot, anyways, make friends of the decrepid

anyways 2.

Well anyways, i'm not sure if i've called one of my other blogs that yet or not so i'm just callin it number two. sigh by popular demand and yes vader i mean you again, lol you're popular and demanding :P, i have decided to write on here again although i seriously think you're the only one who reads this drivel. work was indeed bareable today, lol actually many parts of it made me laugh even though i have some sort of head cold that is starting to really annoy me, so.... devon showed me his pecker at work the other day and tried to jack one of my knives so i threatened him with the other one, almost needless to say he ran outside put his pecker away and gave me back my knife, apparently courtney tried makin out with cole, lol, WHORE, anyways, seriously, 16 years old, nine guys, and now you're after two at the same time.... i thinks i summed it up with whore a few lines earlier. me i'm doin alrigt, stupid head cold, ummm women are stupid, but no... i'm not gay, but hey, can't live without women, anyways i think i'm gonna go eat some pizza,

working works.... to destroy mankind

well alrighty then, vader you get your wish, i have decided to write another blog, although about what i'm not entirely sure, i been workin my arse off lately, i wake up at like noon and do my university course for a while, normally i just take a quiz a day but i could probably do several of them in an hour and still have plenty of time to bugger around before work, ah yes and work, at working for only a week i already have a key and a code for the alarm system, i get to close out the store, this would be alright except for the fact that i work with idiots, lyne, you're a pain in the arse, kirsten, i'm right here, say it to me, don't leave a letter for the manager, and next arse hole to put something in my drink i'm opening your mouth and shoving it down your throat. sigh, and honestly if stuff keeps not adding up i'm killing someone, denton so far you're top on the list of people who will go when i shnap, anyways, so i'm dating again, oh lol i'm not even sure my blog told you about my last break up, tiara dumped me, and now i'm dating her best friend, i'm not entirely sure how happy she is about that, either one, but oh wells, i'm happy so be it, i need to get myself a new car, i can barely win a race against a peice o turd tempo, like sure i get it that i get alot more gas milage, but still, i want like a second car that will haul them, anyways i think that's all for a blog for now,