they drew first blood, not me.

For those of you who don't know what the name is from, it's a rambo referance, basically stating that he didn't start it,they brought it upon themselves. well, ladies, so be it. anyways, i thought today was gonna be a crappy day, didn't go over so well before work, didn't get paid, (some oversite or something like that) got crap from some people at work before i even got there (even though the crap should have been directed elsewhere) and yeah, i find myself once again sayin women... CHEESE! seriously tell a guy that is interested in you, and that you've said you're interested in him, that you're not interested in him and theres other guys, people say i need to think my words through, well that just sounds... well you're reading this so figure it out yourself. so i'm workin with creeper rob today, he doesn't like the idea that someone younger than him has authority over him, for i am supervisor and have authority over all i see at work. anyways, he pretty much refuses to empty the garbages, even though since he only works till eight it is his job. he says, well you guys can do it to, IT'S YOUR FREAKIN JOB CREEPER ROB. i cannot stress how much of a creep this guy is. i don't care you can come to work high, drunk, or only partially clothed, i don't care as long as you do your job, this man does not do his job, he's obsessed with windows, AND HE DOESN'T EVEN DO A GOOD JOB ON THEM, in the time it takes ME to do 5 cars fueled and washed HE'S STILL ON THE SAME ONE, and i'm not quick at windows. so to wrap that up i greatly dislike this fellow.
on the bright side of the day i won 20 bucks on a texas holdem scratcher and someone gave me 15 bucks, and someone will probably give me some more money because there's booze in my trunk and spook is tommorow. anyways i'mhere on supper break so i suppose i should probably go get some supper. PEACE

a wife, life, and strife

well then, i would say to you all out there in the land of the interweb, good evening, however it is only an alright evening, so i bid you that. where to begin, how about here.
i find myself wanting a relationship and not for what some of you might think i'm not just looking for something that most male teens look for. i'm looking for someone to be there for me, and someone i can be there for. i look at my friends with wives and see wow, they are lucky, they have someone there for them, say how their day went, dreams and hopes, they have someone to share that with... me, i have this blog, so horray, i'm married to a blog.... the sex is horrible lol jks. i went to help my friend shore move something today, and he's not havin a good day either this or that it's been a long one, and now ontop of this, we can't fit his water heater into his basement where it needs to be by tommorow, we moved it inside and everything only to find out, won't fit in the hole.. blows, but i gave him some chocolate and hopefully that will help with his night.
i am having an alright day, a coworker threatened to kill me if i dont start doing the paperwork right, same girl who cuffed me in like grade nine because i said something stupid.... i mean honestly, if someone punched me everytime i said something stupid i'm pretty sure i'd be unconcious for most of my life. anyways, i just kinda laughed whe she said it, she has anger issues, i encourage happiness wherever i can, although laughing in an angry persons face perhaps isn't the best way to do that, but oh well.
so yah, this weekend should be interesting, one of my exs is coming to visit, at first i thought it was to visit friends and stuff back here, but apparently it's to visit, me, i have no idea what we're gonna do, there's nothing to do in nipawin, we used to just cruise around talking, so i donno what we shall do, no lie, i felt for this woman like no other. everything from love to fear, i just hope that i don't end up doing something, as i have mentioned, i have my eye on someone and am waiting for her, oh which reminds me, tiara, according to facebook you're in a relationship, congrats. hope it works out alright, anyways
that's about all i should write for now, i'll talk to everyone later i suppose

so i seem to be getting close to a blog a day

incase any of you haven't noticed i seem to be up to a blog a day, i'm not sure if that's a good thing or not, but hey on the bright side i finally got my keyboard working again, it used to have certain letters that wouldn't work, stuff like that so... horray, so i've actually gotten some feedback from some people it would seem, and one of them i'm guessing would be carly.... carly, send me your blog lol, the pablo thing kinda gave it away, anyways i'm on my supper break right now, i'm with some of the better workers today, and i'm STILL working on trying to get one of my other computers internet, but now i discover someone has stolen the mouse from it, so i need to lay my hands on a new computer mouse, stupid desktop, first this then that, but hey, can't complain to much about something you got for free, BUT YOU CAN STILL COMPLAIN, anyways, so it seems i might be back into romance, not the novels never got into those, but i mean it's possible in my future that i may be dating again, we shall see, anyways, thank you all for reading, or at least pretending to read, SALUTE

advice from a doctor as a friend

so today is off to an interesting start, my dad decided to stay home from school today on account of the fact that his bones feel brittle, i tell him he's just getting old, he doesn't seem to believe me though, anyways he had booked an appointment for me to go see the chiropractor as well, but he only woke me with about ten minutes to go till the appointment, so i went and almost hit a building because my eyes weren't focusing right quite yet, that woulda been a good one to do ay, there goes the nipawin chrysler building taken down by a vw.... who woulda guessed, anyways, so i went to get my neck snapped, and man did he ever take it to my neck, as it turns out his son had just gotten married like the week before and he said i shall give you advice, not as a doctor but as a friend, you find a woman that is like you, makes you happy, makes you laugh and smile and maybe even cry, you marry her.... but if she's like you don't bring her here, you cause enough damage, i can't imagine two of you. anyways, lol i know someone like this, but no ladies and gentlemen.... i'm not ready for marriage, antways now that the election is over here you guys go

Blind, battered, bloody my eyes they are gone, my mouth full of gouging wounds, I spit out this blood I hold my fist tight, and with my hands I feel the pain of the world. Teeth gone, eyes cut out. Yet I hold teeth and eyes, but they are not mine, the world is deep in hate, they cut out mine I take theirs, until we both are blind, but blindly following we all are, why can’t we think for ourselves, if I had not cut out his eyes he would not have cut out mine, so now here we both are blinded by the beliefs of a dying world. We follow our leaders, the chosen idiots of us all, those who have the most eyes in their hand from forcing their words upon the ears that remain, few can see them for what they truly are, they hold our sight, and we cannot tell the world who they are, they hold our tongues. These idiots only know what they are doing so far, win for today, win for today....for they know tommorow we die, they can see it coming, with so many of our eyes they know that they must live for themselves, who cares if there are so many under them, they are just a pile of corpses to step on to get to the top, represent the people on whom you stand, hold out their tongues for the nations to hear about us, hold up our eyes so we may see the damage we have done.


cheers

ladies and gentlmen, actually not to sound vain but i know only women who read this thing.

anyways tonight went relatively well, work wise and otherwise, i got out of there when i'm normally supposed to, then i went to shores and we watched some ghost rider, we then went for our usual evening ride, and had some fun screwin around with other drivers on the road. lol blocking the road and other such nonsence, good times shore, anyways, just a quick note tonight, i'm to lazy to write anything much else.

another day, another peice of electronics has aids

good day ladies and gentlemen, actually i'm not sure how many people actually read this so just hello to whoever has enough time to do so, for those of you who don't know my writting style, i write to draw emotion from the reader, doesn't matter if i felt whats in the words or not, they aren't really from me most of the time, i'm just the vessel, i do not read what i write most of the time, i thank some of you for your concern but in all honesty not many tears were shed, sorry, here's a new one for the world to see i guess, i been workin on it a while, well rather i started writing it long ago and left it, i read it on my walk about (rather drive about) while sitting in my car i edmonton during a storm, this is how it ended up,

fueled by the pain you throw back on me my fire burns bright in the skies, you say that you love me, you say i'm the one, but you say you live life with lies,
what to beleive, who to decieve, held back by fire and desire, i let myself go to the end of my line, said things i regret, it's transpired, but i said it all, cause you made me fall the woman once i had desired.
birds fly with wings, so high above us all, but you'd clip their wings and cause them to fall, i soared once like them in cold, clearly bliss, but now it seems a tale to tall, i once beleived that i could soar where eagles glide and men adore but i have learned a little thing, about a girl who clips birds wings, higher and higher the heat it would send me, now i walk down by the flames, cut off my wings and pain is not all i receive, a life of wanting to fly up above, to look down on war and love and such petty squabbles, but all that forgotten my broken wings rotten i smell them and cry in despare.
You took my dreams, and now they're regrets i sit alone with my cigarettes i spin this tale about all these things, a stupid girl who clips birds wings. i thought you'd help me back to my nest but all i have now is pain and unrest, i cannot fly like my brothers no more, cause i know a girl... who's really a whore. a whore to the world, false pleasures it brings, a whore to a song, whichever she sings, a whore to the pain, she loves what she brings, you're just a whore, who clipped this birds wings.
So many times i've tried to ignore the pain that you gave me and i tried to sore but i fall from the trees to the filth at the floor because of you, stupid girl whore.


that's that one, it was about a previous relationship and how i felt about it, but i finished it after yet another break up, so it's actually just got raw pain but more poetic and visual than some of the other things i've written, and this one, like FEW others i actually put myself into, thought about it, used my feelings and not just ideas, there should be a new one coming out of me any day now, and not to worry to any of you who care, artists live on pain of one kind or another, longing is pain, loving is pain, hating is pain, acceptance is pain, life in general is pain but finding words to describe and ways to carry on is beauty, ladies and gentlemen writting is both my pain and my beauty, i don't write so i feel, i feel that i should write, this or that, doesn't matter, as long as it makes a difference to someone, i may not even know who, but if you've read this, i hope you've thought about something, anything, as long as you've felt, that's what my art is about, you, the reader, your feelings... enjoy

oops,

so i had meant to write in here last night, but i never really got around to it, last night seriously i was full of something that just needed to get out, and i don't even know what, we'll see if anything from that is left over.
scream and i scream these words, let me out to live, i don't want to be this way anymore let me live. i'm trapped inside with all these tears it's drowning me alive. i've been swimming for years fire lost in tears i'm not the flame i once was, you doused me in tears you've shrunk me with fears and now all i want is to be free. as soon as i'm out no more tears, i will shout, THIS IS THE MAN WHO IS ME, i'm not afraid of you anymore only the tears that i've shed, i don't want them back i don't want to end my life living in fear isn't me. i'm the man of the hour someone elses strong tower but apparently not anymore, as i scream from within all these tears all this sin make me feel that the world is a whore. so i'll escape from this whore make my own girl, no more will i dwell on the past loves i've lost. all the things i've been through i always was true to think that i'm something more. i'm afraid to love again, afraid to live again, the only thing left is my pain, so i'll crawl up the throat and claw and cut and stab and thrust till i'm out again, till i love again... it's pain.

well somehow i think that could be pretty close to what was coming out last night, seriously i was driving and yelling and screaming and hitting things just to feel something, nothing feels real anymore, i gave my heart away to freely, i never get the peice back, they've been abused and tossed aside and all that's left is tattered and torn, sigh..... i'm gonna go watch a movie,

by george it's friday, i think it's friday,

soooo as it would appear i've made the title of this blog into two different referances from rather famous peices of literature, it may not be perfect but hey, you win a prize if you can tell me which peices, a hint, turned out to have grown accustomed to her voice, and friday is a black day indeed. ANYBODY, anyways, i seem to be able to walk a little better today, although the hip is still killing me, tonight i get to let the manager close lol, i showed him how more or less last night, anyways so as it turns out there are supposed to be two rank concerts coming up in december in stoon, on the same day... different venues, and i REALLY wanna go to both, but i can't :( so what shall i do.... BLOW UP THE OCEAN, (a lil more obscure of a reference, this time to an online cartoon) k seriously, most of the people i work with are STUPID, no literature read at all, theres maybe three or four people that i actually like workin with, denton, you're niave... think that's how you spell it, but you get stuff done, you smile, you're good with customers, jesse, no more drinking at work and you'll be fine, anna, k you're cool and have other redeeming qualities, :P, new manager seems alright, although your name dana, honestly i think of a chick or some desert called a danish... or is that breakfast, meh either way, tis food. anyways i think i'm gonna go read some more, bye for now

nish?

so anyways, i had another day of work today, and it's raining/snowing/sunny out today, me and a co-worker decided to see who was faster in a sprint, i wasn't sure but he was bein cocky so we put money on it, midway through the race i lost my footing, i bit it pretty hard i have cuts onmy hand elbow and hip, along with a really nast bruise on my hip, and i lost the money to boot, anyways, make friends of the decrepid

anyways 2.

Well anyways, i'm not sure if i've called one of my other blogs that yet or not so i'm just callin it number two. sigh by popular demand and yes vader i mean you again, lol you're popular and demanding :P, i have decided to write on here again although i seriously think you're the only one who reads this drivel. work was indeed bareable today, lol actually many parts of it made me laugh even though i have some sort of head cold that is starting to really annoy me, so.... devon showed me his pecker at work the other day and tried to jack one of my knives so i threatened him with the other one, almost needless to say he ran outside put his pecker away and gave me back my knife, apparently courtney tried makin out with cole, lol, WHORE, anyways, seriously, 16 years old, nine guys, and now you're after two at the same time.... i thinks i summed it up with whore a few lines earlier. me i'm doin alrigt, stupid head cold, ummm women are stupid, but no... i'm not gay, but hey, can't live without women, anyways i think i'm gonna go eat some pizza,

working works.... to destroy mankind

well alrighty then, vader you get your wish, i have decided to write another blog, although about what i'm not entirely sure, i been workin my arse off lately, i wake up at like noon and do my university course for a while, normally i just take a quiz a day but i could probably do several of them in an hour and still have plenty of time to bugger around before work, ah yes and work, at working for only a week i already have a key and a code for the alarm system, i get to close out the store, this would be alright except for the fact that i work with idiots, lyne, you're a pain in the arse, kirsten, i'm right here, say it to me, don't leave a letter for the manager, and next arse hole to put something in my drink i'm opening your mouth and shoving it down your throat. sigh, and honestly if stuff keeps not adding up i'm killing someone, denton so far you're top on the list of people who will go when i shnap, anyways, so i'm dating again, oh lol i'm not even sure my blog told you about my last break up, tiara dumped me, and now i'm dating her best friend, i'm not entirely sure how happy she is about that, either one, but oh wells, i'm happy so be it, i need to get myself a new car, i can barely win a race against a peice o turd tempo, like sure i get it that i get alot more gas milage, but still, i want like a second car that will haul them, anyways i think that's all for a blog for now,